Make your own free website on Tripod.com

August 1965

John writing to Cynthia during The Beatles' American Tour

...what he said about it. It's not that much bother really, is it? When you think about it - 'cause I'm sure Dot [the Lennon's housekeeper] and Lil' [Cynthia's mother] and Bennigs, Tommy, Jordy, etc. can understand something as simple as us wanting to be alone for a day - I don't mean Julian - I mean don't pack him off to Dots or anywhere - I really miss him as a person now - do you know what I mean, he's not so much 'The Baby' or 'My Baby' anymore, he's a real living part of me now, you know he's Julian and everything and I can't wait to see him, I miss him more then I've ever done before - I think it's been a slow process my feeling like a real father! I hope all this is clear and understandable. I spend hours in dressing rooms and things thinking about the times I've wasted not being with him - and playing with him - you know I keep thinking of THOSE stupid bastard times when I keep reading bloody newspapers and other shit while he's in the room with me and I've decided it's ALL WRONG! He doesn't see enough of me as it is and I really want him to know and love me, and miss me like I seem to be missing both of you so much.

I'll go now 'cause I'm bringing myself down thinking about what a thoughtless bastard I seem to be - and it's only short of three o'clock in the afternoon, and it seems the wrong time of day to feel so emotional - I really feel like crying - its stupid - and I'm choking up now as I'm writting - I don't know what's the matter with me - It's not the tour that's so different from other tours - I mean I'm having lots of laughter (you know the type hee! hee!) but in between the laughter there is such a drop - I mean there seems to be in between feelings. Anyway I'm going now so this letter doesn't get to draggy.

I love you very much.
To Cyn
From
John XXXXXXXXXX

P.S. Say hello to Charle etc. for me
P.P.S. I think you can ring me if you have a phone there try - if not I'll see you in about a week.
271-6565
LOS ANGELES,
CALIFORNIA.
P.P.P.S. It's Monday the 23rd today and I leave this house next Monday the 30th of August - so try to please.


**** **** **** **** **** **** ****
back to CYNTHIA back to IT'S ONLY LOVE back to MARS